Push Me Away
by JackValentine
Summary: A Mizley songfic.


**TITLE: **Push Me Away

**AUTHOR: **JackValentine

**BETA: **residentreject619

**PAIRING: **Mike "The Miz" Mizanin/Kevin "Alex Riley" Kiley

**RATING: **PG-13

**GENRE:** Songfic, angst

**SIZE: **Mini

**WARNINGS: **POV Alex Riley

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I had a pretty long pause when my inspiration for this pairing left me. But suddenly I heard the song "Kiss" by KoЯn, which sort of brought it back to life and made me write this fic.

PS Poor online checker. He's not perfect, bear with him.

**DISCLAIMER: **Do not own the guys (I wish I did ^^)

Do you know how does it feel to be completely worthless? I do. I have nowhere to run to. I'm trapped in the circumstances. I have no aim, I have no dreams, I have no emotions. The day when I realized that I had no personality has come. I'm lost. I'm broken. All that I was living for has left and now I know that you are the death of me, as well as my salvation. I hate you for how much I love you.

I know I will fail. I know. But I have no choice.

The doors of the elevator opened and I stepped into the hotel corridor.

I was walking through the corridor insensibly, the numbers passing me by, making me dizzy, but suddenly all my emotions concentrated on the number 348, pulsing and aching.

I'm still not sure if I have to enter. If I have to bother my wound.

I have no plan.

I knock the door.

...

_Some deny and search for things that never come around_

_Do I feel like a fool?_

_The places I have ran to all my life have disappeared_

_And I owe this all to you_

_I'm feeling like I'm sinking_

_And nothing's there to catch me, keep me breathing_

The door opened with a quiet squeak, and here you are, my sick obsession.

...

- Kevin? – you sounded puzzled, - Well, come in.

Seems like I forgot how to breathe, so I came in, remaining silent, and sat on the sofa next to you.

Sometimes I question myself, do you feel the same? Do you know how it feels to be empty? If you did, you wouldn't let it happen to me. Or would you? Do you even care? Did you ever care?..

- So? – You gave me a questioning look.

So?.. We need no questions, Mike. We never did. It's all about the "yes" or "no". It's up to you. It's always up to you. You're free to choose if you need me. You're free to choose if you save me or just leave me to die there emotionally.

But the worst thing is that if it was "yes", we'd both already feel it.

I shrugged and looked away.

- Mike, I just was thinking… Maybe we… Should…

Pathetic. So, so pathetic. Sitting here, begging and whining, but what else can I do?

- Kevin… - you interrupted me, - you know the answer is "no". Don't mean to be rude, but… - you stopped in the middle of the phrase and looked into my eyes.

I understand, Mike. Wait… Who am I trying to fool? I don't. I don't understand why. I don't understand what I did wrong. I fuckin don't.

...

_What do I have to do?_

_Why can't this hurt be through?_

_I'm going head unto_

_Something I know I will fail_

_Why can't this kiss be true?_

_Why won't you please let me through?_

_I don't understand why you always push me away_

_..._

- Kevin, I guess, you have to go.

- Mike… Let me stay… Just for five more minutes, please.

What have I become? A little piece of nothing. Begging to stay here with you, even if for only a couple of minutes. To breathe the same air you breathe.

I wish you could realize how much it hurts to tear your core apart. To excise your everything.

I wish you could know how much I hate you and how much I love you.

I wish I could stay here and cry on your shoulder.

I wish I could taste your lips and feel your touch again.

- Kev, it wouldn't make it any better.

I felt your hand on my shoulder. Damn, now it hurts even more.

I pushed your hand away softly and walked the door.

...

_The last thing I would like to do before I go away_

_Is cry there next to you _

_Cry and talk about the good old days and where they've gone_

_And now how much I hate you_

_..._

I walked through the corridor quickly, not even paying attention to the numbers this time.

I stepped into the elevator. The doors closed, building one more obstacle between us.

I hit the "stop" button and slid down on the floor powerless, back against the cold iron wall.

What have you done to me? What am I now?

I'm bleeding, I'm dying, I'm breaking down the thousandth time.

I don't understand why you always push me away.

...

_I feel the blood drip off my body as it falls right there_

_On the ground_

_What am I now?_

_What do I have to do?_

_Why can't this hurt be through?_

_I'm going head unto_

_Something I know I will fail_

_Why can't this kiss be true_

_Why won't you please let me through?_

_I don't understand why you always push me away_

_Why you always push me away_

_Why you always push me away_

_Why you always push me away_

_Why you always push me away_

_Why you always push me away_

_Why you always push me away_

_Why you always push me away_

_Why you always push me away_


End file.
